WHO Poll
Q: 2023/24 Hopes & aspirations for this season
a. As Champions of Europe there's no reason we shouldn't be pushing for a top 7 spot & a run in the Cups
24%
  
b. Last season was a trophy winning one and there's only one way to go after that, I expect a dull mid table bore fest of a season
17%
  
c. Buy some f***ing players or we're in a battle to stay up & that's as good as it gets
18%
  
d. Moyes out
37%
  
e. New season you say, woohoo time to get the new kit and wear it it to the pub for all the big games, the wags down there call me Mr West Ham
3%
  



Eddie B 10:55 Mon Dec 30
Don't Fuck With Cats
This is the most mental documentary I've ever seen.

On Netflix. It's fucking crazy.

Replies - In Chronological Order (Show Newest Messages First)

Northern Sold 10:55 Mon Dec 30
Re: Don't Fuck With Cats
Cats are shit

zebthecat 11:02 Mon Dec 30
Re: Don't Fuck With Cats
Northern Sold 10:55 Mon Dec 30

I beg to differ.
Cats are great - their ancestors are solitary hunters which informs their nature like dogs wolf ancestors which gives rise to their needy pack animal nature.

Read about the documentary and not sure that I could stomach it. Might give it a go nonetheless.

Jaan Kenbrovin 11:03 Mon Dec 30
Re: Don't Fuck With Cats
Yeah. It's unreal. Made me feel uneasy for a while after watching it.

I remember him on the news but knew nothing of the story behind it.

Iron Duke 11:05 Mon Dec 30
Re: Don't Fuck With Cats
Excellent documentary. So many twists and turns.

Bernie 11:07 Mon Dec 30
Re: Don't Fuck With Cats
Cats are superb.

I've never met a dog that doesn't smell like it's gone off

Fortunes Hiding 11:09 Mon Dec 30
Re: Don't Fuck With Cats
Iā€™m with northern

Dogs are far superior, loyal and loveable

Northern Sold 11:10 Mon Dec 30
Re: Don't Fuck With Cats
Cats shit in peoples HOMES... scratchy scratchy litter tray... lovely... no wonder the bloke killed two of them with a hoover

Westham67 11:13 Mon Dec 30
Re: Don't Fuck With Cats
I like both cats and dogs, there I've said it

Ron Swanson 11:14 Mon Dec 30
Re: Don't Fuck With Cats
Get yourself a proper dog. Any dog under 50 lbs is a cat, and cats are pointless

Nurse Ratched 11:15 Mon Dec 30
Re: Don't Fuck With Cats
The chap I like doesn't like cats šŸ˜•

zebthecat 11:17 Mon Dec 30
Re: Don't Fuck With Cats
Northern Sold 11:10 Mon Dec 30

Mine doesn't.
Better than being a pathetic needy fartbag (actually I like dogs, had an old rescue dog for a couple of years and she was a sweetie - looked like a border collie but was lab sized, red and very fluffy. She was 15 when I got her and enjoyed the last two years of her life. My cats tolerated her too).

Northern Sold 11:21 Mon Dec 30
Re: Don't Fuck With Cats
Interesting Zeb I thought every cat owner had a scratchy scratchy litter tray...

Anyway Only joking... I don't mind felines... just prefer Canines... I'd look a right cunt taking a tabby for a walk over the local park

Nurse Ratched 11:24 Mon Dec 30
Re: Don't Fuck With Cats
The tabby would look worse...

southbankbornnbred 11:27 Mon Dec 30
Re: Don't Fuck With Cats
Worth watching, but I thought that, as with many Netflix docs, it was all a bit over-played.

The group of Internet geeks who tried to bring down the killer basically just ended up always being one step behind him - yet the documentary makes them out to be outright heroes.

Quite possible, too, that the attention they paid Magnotta part-fuelled the escalation of his violence. He treated their pursuit of him as a game - and that looks like it led to more violent activity on his part.

southbankbornnbred 11:30 Mon Dec 30
Re: Don't Fuck With Cats
And that stupid bit at the end, where the female protagonist talks directly into the camera...that bit was really shit. You don't jump from interview-based doc, to poor-quality "lecture", via the interviewee.

Far Cough 11:31 Mon Dec 30
Re: Don't Fuck With Cats
I've seen people take cats for a walk

Jasnik 11:35 Mon Dec 30
Re: Don't Fuck With Cats
How do you make a cat go woof.

Pour petrol on it and light a match.

Maybe that should have gone on the joke thread!!!.

Westham67 11:41 Mon Dec 30
Re: Don't Fuck With Cats
A cat (The walkee)would actually take their owner ( The walker) for a walk

Browno22 11:43 Mon Dec 30
Re: Don't Fuck With Cats
Don't fuck with cats, just fuck them

joe royal 11:45 Mon Dec 30
Re: Don't Fuck With Cats
How to give a cat a pill ... and a dog, too

How to give a cat a pill:
Pick up cat and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat's mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth, pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.

Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process.

Retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away.

Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm, holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten.

Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Call spouse from garden.

Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold front and rear paws. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub cat's throat vigorously.

Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap. Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered figurines and vases from hearth and set to one side for gluing later.

Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with head just visible from below armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw, force mouth open with pencil, and blow down drinking straw.

Check label to make sure pill not harmful to humans, drink 1 beer to take taste away. Apply Band-Aid to spouse's forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap.

Retrieve cat from neighbor's shed. Get another pill. Open another beer. Place cat in cupboard, and close door onto neck, to leave head showing. Force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with elastic band.

Fetch screwdriver from garage and put cupboard door back on hinges. Drink beer. Fetch bottle of Scotch. Pour shot, drink. Apply cold compress to cheek and check records for date of last tetanus shot. Apply whiskey compress to cheek to disinfect. Toss back another shot. Throw T-shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom.

Call fire department to retrieve the damn cat from tree across the road. Apologize to neighbor who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat. Take last pill from foil-wrap.

Tie the little @!!@#@#$%'s front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining table, find heavy-duty pruning gloves from shed. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of steak filet. Be rough about it. Hold head vertically and pour 2 pints of water down throat to wash pill down.

Consume remainder of Scotch. Get spouse to drive you to the emergency room, sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearm and remove pill remnants from right eye. Call furniture shop on way home to order new table.

Arrange for SPCA to collect mutant cat from hell and call local pet shop to see if they have any hamsters.

How to give a dog a pill:
Wrap it in cheese.

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